After trying not to cry, I figured I did something wrong in the calculating. I tore through my notes, and lo! I had! Now, here’s reality.

The only thing I’ve done since the training is the therapy laps (creeping and crawling) and a few nutrition tweaks. I did not do any of the sensory therapy. I didn’t even reach the full number of laps. I was trying to have both boys do laps and some days it’s really frustrating to keep on top of that in a one-bedroom apartment with squirrely boys!

So, imagine my surprise when…

Dr. J has gained 17% brain function. He gained 13.5 months in neurological age ABOVE the 12 that he aged! (He gained 25.5 months total.) I am very excited.

So, if you’re curious about Family Hope Center, all I can say is look at his numbers on the partial program. That’s all, folks!

As I said, Rebecca Keliher and I stuffed this baby full of useful features. I won’t drone on and on. Here are some of my favorites:

• 21 helpful articles from Team HEDUA on blogging, social media, and writing
• weekly layout to track your posts, to dos, social sharing, and more
• monthly layout to see your posts at a glance and track what kind they are (guest, promoted, giveaway, etc.)
• income tracking
• place to determine your blog’s purpose and goals
• lots of room to write down ideas as you’re hit with inspiration

Here are a few snapshots:

 Handy Dandy Glossary!

Monthly check-in to see how you’re doing!

Love the weekly layout–check off your social shares, jot ideas, and more!

If you’d like to take a closer look at the blog planner, you can preview it and click through the pages to get a better idea of what it looks like. Click on the image below to go to the planner. Until March 31st, it’s 20% off, so you can get My Blog Plan, with six free months, for under $16! I won’t tell anyone if you hug your blog planner when it arrives, or even if you call it Mary Poppins, too. Your secret is safe with me.

  Now, Well Planned Day has other planners as well. They have a family homeschool planner, student planners, a purse-sized mom planner, and a wall calendar. You can preview the planners and see what you like here. Now it’s your turn. What’s your favorite feature in a planner? Link to blog planner: https://hedua.com/cart/index.php/wpd/blog14-15.html?acc=e00da03b685a0dd18fb6a08af0923de0

Your children  can have lots of fun with a few dollar store purchases, items around the house, and things you borrow from friends and family. Here’s a list to get you started.

Dollar store balloons–When I was browsing Pinterest for superhero party ideas, one person mentioned how much fun her kids had with balloons. Just balloons all over the place. You can buy a pack or two at your local dollar store, blow them up, and leave the rest to the kids imagination. Or, if you’re adventurous, you could create a sort of balloon drop with a bed sheet. Summer party? Buy water balloons instead and take it outdoors!

Pandora music–Use Pandora or some other music app to find music that fits your party theme. Then you can play hot potato, musical chairs, or other music-related games. For example, I found superhero movie soundtracks and the kids had to keep the aforementioned dollar store balloons up in the air while the music was playing, then grab one when the music stopped. You could also have the theme music playing while the kids eat or as they arrive.

Obstacle course–easy and free! Create an indoor or outdoor obstacle course from items you have around your house or you borrow from friends. Play in teams or as one team and have the kids see what their fastest time is.

Inflatables–For Meatball’s superhero birthday party, I strolled the dollar store aisles to see what superhero-themed items were available. I found a Spiderman inflatable hammer, about 2 1/2 feet long. So, I created a game. It was a sort of team relay race to beat the clock. The kids used the hammer to hit a balloon across the room to a laundry basket, then run back and give the hammer to the next person. Quite funny.

Relay races–Again, easy and free! Your imagination is the only limit you have here. Get the kids in on it, too. Ask them to think of different relays. There’s traditional fair games like the sack race, but you can create many others. For example, I use a large laundry basket at the end of the room, and then the kids do various relays. One time we brought out all of our balls (in a boy house, that’s a lot) in a basket. The kids had to run down with a ball and toss it in the basket, then return to tag the next player. You could get a bag of old clothes and have your kids race to run down, put the clothes on, yell something funny, remove the funny clothes, and return.

Balloon ping pong– A couple years ago I came across this on Pinterest, and it’s genius! You get to have the fun of ping pong without worrying about having a big enough table or space.

Community service–why not teach your kids that there’s more to life than birthday parties? Have each child bring some sort of donation and pack boxes at the party. Let the kids draw a picture to put in each box, then take it one step further and deliver as a group! Find a community service project that needs help, go work for a couple hours together, then return to the birthday child’s home for cake and ice cream.

Need more ideas? Try these:

Check out this ice cream/frozen yogurt activity.

Browse this list of parties.

Gather ideas from this Clue-inspired party.

Have a warm weather birthday? Look at this fun.

Now it’s YOUR turn! What’s your favorite fun & frugal birthday party activity? Leave a comment to inspire others!

Today we’re talking easy decorations and snacks. Let’s get started!

Easy, affordable party decorations

Here’s my favorite kid birthday party tip: Let the kids help make decorations! There are three benefits here–save money, they feel involved/proud of their work, and you get a few minutes of quiet to do something else while they work.

Start with this list of birthday party decorations and see if you get inspired.

• Use brown paper bags for goody bags. Let the birthday child decorate each bag. This can be as simple as crayons and markers or you can purchase some stickers that match the party theme.
• Get a roll of white paper or newsprint. Roll it out on your table and cut to appropriate length. Again, let your kids decorate it according to the birthday theme.
• Make personalized placemats. Simply let your child use a piece of printer paper for each placemat. Again, decorate at the level that fits.
• Purchase a few helium balloons at the dollar store. You don’t need many to create a festive atmosphere.
• Mix licensed character party goods with plain ones. For example, for Meatball’s super hero party, I spent money on Spiderman cups and napkins. Then I bought red plates. You can even purchase just one special item like cups or plates and use that to add some pizzazz to the other plain items.
• Let your kids make signs. I know this seems repetitive, but the kids really enjoy doing all this decorating and guests enjoy seeing their artwork.
• Cover things you already have. Need some balloon weights? Wrap up a soup can. Want some extra decorations around? Wrap up grocery store items from your pantry and place them around the party. Buy clearance wrapping paper to stock your supply.

Simple birthday party food

Someday I hope to order my son a fancy cake from the gluten-free bakery. Until then, we’ll just keep things simple.

• Decorate your own cupcake. Kids love this and you don’t have to be creative! Just put out sprinkles, mini M&Ms, frosting, or anything else you think the birthday child and guests would like. Give each child a knife for frosting and a plate big enough to catch the mess. This also serves as a fun activity–double duty!
• Use muffin liners to create individual snack bowls. Pretzels, cut up fruit, cheese cubes, and dried fruit all make easy kid-friendly snacks.
• Start shopping ahead of time so you can buy on sale or clearance. Kids love juice boxes and fruit snacks. If you start shopping early, you can save money when they go on sale.
• Build your own ___. You can do build your own pizza. Have a hot dog creating contest. Again, kids love making their own food, and you can buy on sale ahead of time.
• Make kabobs. Use toothpicks to make fruit kabobs or add some veggies and cheese in there, too.
• Utilize things you already have. Don’t think you can make a fancy cake? Me neither. This year I used food coloring to make blue and red frosting. Then I frosted the cupcakes. I covered a plate with foil, added the cupcakes, and then put my son’s Spiderman action figure in the middle of the cupcakes. Nothing fancy, but it worked!

Want more options? Here you go!

Grab ideas at this Alice in Wonderland unbirthday party.

Maybe you can convert some ideas from this butterfly party.

Gather possibilities at this puppy party.

Check out the simple fun at this rainbow party.

Get step-by-step instructions for a Bad Piggies party.

Now it’s your turn!

What are your favorite frugal and easy birthday party food and decoration ideas? Leave them in the comments to inspire others!

Move on to Part 3–Fun Activities!

Back in January I was browsing Pinterest to get ideas for Meatball’s superhero birthday party. While I did get some ideas to transform into my own, I was glad I wasn’t already having a bad day. There is so much out there to make us feel like less-than moms! So many gorgeous pictures of seemingly perfect birthday parties with elaborate decorations and an abundance of games, prizes, and treats.

Now, before some of you yell at me for saying that, yes, I know that some of those women love to be creative and their budget is bigger than mine. I know that some of them are amazingly talented and can do just about anything with craft supplies. I don’t begrudge them that.

However, I decided to do a series in March on birthday parties to help the rest of us–the ones who don’t have time or money to have a magazine-worthy birthday party and those of us who hate crafting or don’t have much creativity. Thus, I bring to you…

In this five-part birthday party series, I’ll be discussing:

1. Overcoming mom birthday guilt
2. Easy decorations & snacks
3. Fun activities
4. Off-site parties
5. Inclusive parties

Let’s get started–birthday party guilt

Moms want the best for their kids. There’s nothing wrong with that.

Say no to pride, comparison, and discontent.

If I take a tough look at my mom-guilt, I think pride, comparison, and perhaps a bit of discontent are at the root. Ouch, that hurts.

Sometimes we let our pride get in the way a bit, even when we don’t intend to. We want to feel like Supermom and we want everyone else to see us that way. Let go of your pride and work with what you’ve got available. Some years the parties will be bigger than others. One year you may have hot dogs and another year a superhero feast for twenty. That’s ok.

We also need to let go of comparison. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. What you’re great at, one of those super-crafty moms is not so good at. She’s great at crafts, and you, well, not so much. It’s ok! Remember, God made us all unique. (Hmm…don’t we tell our kids that?)

Don’t let discontent ruin your birthday plans. Do you wish you had more money as you sniff a bit that you can’t provide the bounce house in the backyard at your child’s 5th year shindig? It’s ok. Take a moment of silence, then get over it. (I really do tell myself, “Get over it.”) When we wallow in what we don’t have, we tend to become not so nice to be around. You want your child to have fun at her party, not have a crabby momma who scares the guests away.

So, will you join me next Monday for easy decoration and snack ideas? Do you have your own thoughts on birthday party guilt, discontent, comparison, and pride? Do you think I’m crazy? I’d love to hear in the comments. Just tell me gently if you think I’m off my rocker. Thanks!

27 million men, women, and children are in slavery worldwide.

I realized slavery still existed in various places, but I hadn’t given it much thought. Enter #enditmovement.

The End It movement is striving to end slavery worldwide. Now, a lot of us are probably thinking, “What can I do? I’m just one person in [enter your town].”

Yes, that is true. You are just one person. As with any large issue, awareness is the first step. If we’re not aware, we don’t realize there’s anything to be done. You can help spread awareness tomorrow, Thursday the 27th. Place a red X on your hand and share it on your social media channels. You can help others realize slavery is still very much present.

Men, women, and children are sold.

While you’re watching your children play, think of the children forced into slave labor.

When you sit with your husband watching TV, think of the men in slavery torn away from their families.

As you wash your dishes, think of the women who are paraded around as sex objects.

Now what?

I know I have already become more thoughtful about this subject. As I was rinsing my rice the other night, I thought of women in countries on the other side of the world and how many of them aren’t safe like I am. As I pondered the End It cause, my boys happily played Legos in the same room. There are many children who don’t get that luxury.

As you think of these people in these horrible situations, you can pray for them. If you would like to help an organization that is assisting women and children around the world, visit WellspringInternational.com.

You may also want to educate your children. In addition to helping them understand at an age-appropriate level that slavery still exists, teach them how to be aware of their surroundings and “stranger danger”. Help your pre-teen and teen girls understand that their value is more than their body. Teach them how to avoid the traps that are out there.

Will you help spread the word? If you decide to join in on Instagram, tag me @manyhatsmommy so I can see!

Here is more reading on human trafficking in the United States.

Well, I’m done. All those people that go around talking about gratitude–they’re full of it. They must have perfect lives. I’m tired of being stuck inside in this winter vortex junk. Tired of life’s challenges. I’m going back to complaining.

I’ve come up with five, yes, five awesome reasons to complain. Who’ll join me?

1. Complaining helps me be happy.

Don’t you know that the more I complain, the happier I get? For example, say I stumble over my kids’ toys. I get grumpy and start complaining to myself. With each minute of complaining, I get happier and happier until I’m singing the praises of my children.

2. Complaining gets me what I want.

Haven’t you experienced it? People get nicer and more helpful the more you complain. The people who work in customer service want to go all out to help you when you’re being obnoxious.

3. Complaining benefits my health.

My husband leaves work clothes on the floor. The more I stew about them, my body relaxes. My muscles loosen. Headaches recede.

4. Complaining makes me fun to be around.

So, I keep thinking about how insensitive it is of my tired husband to leave his clothes on the floor, and I become crabby and short-tempered with my sons. My kids just love a crabby mother!

5. Complaining solves everything.

That’s right. I sure can affect a lot of change with my complaining! As I continue to gripe, my problems become smaller. They disappear. Ah!

Frankly, it takes too much self-control to be thankful all the time. You want me to stop myself in mid-thought and change my attitude? No thanks. I’ll just stick to complaining. After all, I have five great reasons to keep it up!

More than likely you’ve had those days when stepping into your child’s room takes great courage and agility. You see stuffed animals and toys strewn around the floor, dirty clothes that didn’t make it to the basket, papers on the floor, and Legos waiting to stab your feet. You sigh and walk away, too weary to argue.

I’ve been there! I’m by no means the Dali Llama of clean kids rooms, but I do have some steps that have helped us make the cleaning experience less traumatic for all. I pass these to you to make your life less stressful.

Use these steps to help your child clean his room without sacrificing your sanity:

1. Choose the right time. If you’re hungry, exhausted, or already stressed, do NOT choose that time to do an all-out clean and purge! Chances are that it will not end well. Same goes for your child, especially if you have a special needs child. Perhaps you could have a snack together first to give yourselves some enjoyable moments before the real work begins.
2. Determine what is acceptable. Are you doing an I-can’t-stand-it-anymore purge and deep clean? Will you be satisfied with simply a cleared floor? If you know ahead of time what will make you happy for this session, you know when it’s ok to stop. Of course, if your children want to pass that, let them! But knowing the minimum is a great start.
3. Create a list. In our family, our most successful cleaning sessions come from this step. Dr. J gets overwhelmed and has a hard time determining what to do next. Meatball gets distracted by playing. A list helps both of them stay on track. If your child cannot read yet, use both pictures and words. Gauge how detailed you have to be according to your child’s ability. In our family we list categories and I try to think of large items or the category with the most things on the floor first so that the impact is immediate. For example, our list might say, “Blankets, clothes, stuffed animals, books, crayons/markers/pens, and trash.”
4. Have a new trash bag in the room. This makes it easier to throw things away. It also cuts down on distractions–your child won’t get sidetracked on the way back to her bedroom.
5. Start. If your child is young or is not able to go point by point yet, you’ll need to stay in the room and help or just supervise. Some parents read a story while the child cleans. In my boys’ younger days, we’d work through the list together. Then we graduated–they would do one category and come get an adult to approve marking it off the list. Now Dr. J and Meatball work together and come get an adult when they think they’ve finished the list. (If you need a storage idea, I love using an over-the-door shoe organizer for art supplies.)
6. Take breaks if necessary. Depending on the state of the mess and your child on that day, you may need to allow breaks. That’s ok! Don’t we sometimes break cleaning into chunks as adults?
7. Consider using rewards. It’s also ok to use rewards. Yes, we want our children to know most of life requires work. However, haven’t you rewarded yourself with something from time to time when you tackled a project you didn’t want to do? In the younger years, I’d occasionally offer M&Ms or Smarties for getting an item on the list done. I don’t do that now, but it served its purpose to help my Aspie keep going toward his goal when he was younger.
8. Check the job. Whether you’re checking at each point on the list, or at completion, make sure you check. Sometimes I haven’t, and later I find an explosion in a part of the room not visible from the doorway. You can’t get mad if you’re not willing to go in and check. Remember, you’re training.
9. Encourage. Just like you want your spouse to acknowledge your hard work around the home or you desire a boss to notice your work on a project, our children like to know they’ve done a good job. Remember to tell them! This is also an opportunity to build a team spirit among your children. Comment on their working together to accomplish a goal.
10. Maintain. This is where I fall short many times. I really want an afternoon clean up time, and in the busyness of the day I forget about it. We are most successful when I remember that afternoon pick up. Perhaps I should set an alarm on my phone.

Two final thoughts about children’s bedrooms:

1. Remember they’re children, and that each personality is different, just like grown ups. I recommend allowing some freedom in how they keep their room, as long as they are safe and not posing a health risk. There may be times you simply need to shut the door so you don’t have to look inside. :)
2. Reality is that I am not always calm when it comes to room cleaning time. In fact, I hate it. However, when I use these steps, the process goes much more smoothly. I hope they help you as well.

Do you have any tips to share that help you get through this process? Leave it in the comments–other parents may benefit from your experience!

I’ve never met her, though I could spend a day or a week with her and not feel awkward. She’s touched my life and my family’s life more than she’ll ever know. She gave me hope. She gave me strength. She gave me ideas. She’d been there. She helped me prioritize. She helped me wade through the information and advice. She shared her story and others. She pointed me towards resources.

I give her a lot of credit for the progress I’ve seen over the years with Dr. J. She probably wouldn’t accept it, but her support and encouragement as another autism mom have been invaluable. She helped me calm down and focus. She reminded me to spend time enjoying life with my sons in the middle of the therapy, treatment, and research. She gave me courage and confidence that comes from having been there.

If you are a special needs parent, and you’ve been around for a while, I encourage you to reach out to those new to this life called “special needs”. You never know how you will bolster confidence and calm fears. You can make a difference in a family’s life. You are “only one”, but you can make an impact.

If you are a new special needs parent, let me encourage you to seek out someone who’s been there. I know most special needs parents don’t have the chance to get out much. If you do, seek out a support group or start one of your own. If that’s not possible, which I completely understand, seek special needs friends online. There is a large special needs parent community on Twitter. If you’re dealing with autism, start by searching for the hashtags #autism and #youmightbeanautismparentif. Many special needs parents also connect on Facebook and there are also groups there. Just type the diagnosis and “support” or “parents” etc (be creative) in Facebook’s search box and see what happens. You’ll find pages and groups.

And to my friend Cheryl, I say, “Thank you”. I know I’m not the only newbie special needs mom that you’ve encouraged. Thank you for reaching out to all of us and helping our children in the process.

Are you a busy mom who uses the Power of One in daily life? Are you on Instagram? I invite you to share your Power of One moments on Instagram with the hashtag #powerofonemoms. Why not encourage each other to persevere and live thoughtfully. Tag me as @manyhatsmommy so I can cheer on your Power of One moments!

This post contains an affiliate link. If you click on the ad & purchase, I will make a small commission. Thank you for your support.

Life can be overwhelming for children with Aspergers syndrome.

As a special needs parent, I’m willing to bet you’d love to make life easier for your child. You watch his struggles and wonder how you can help. Since Dr. J just turned eight, I’ve been contemplating how far he has come in the last five years. By no means do I know everything, but these ten things have helped my son navigate life’s choppy waters, and they can help your child, too. Most of these will help other special needs children as well.

Ten ways you can help your child with Aspergers 

1. Find vocabulary that works. Children with Aspergers syndrome tend to be very literal and they also have difficulty with emotion and abstract concepts. You need to find ways to talk to your child that they can understand. When I ask, “Why did you like that?” I usually get, “I don’t know.” However, my odds for a decent answer increase when I ask, “What did you like about that chapter?” I’ve made it less abstract and turned it into a “what”. One book that has helped me with this in the social skills area is You Are a Social Detective. Sometimes you will feel like it takes a lot of work to come up with just the right words, but it is definitely worth it.
2. Give her words to say. This is a twist on #1. Not only do we need to find the right words to say to our special needs children, we also need to give them an arsenal of words to explain how they feel, how they need help, what they’re thinking, etc. During a sibling fight, for example, take a moment to tell your child, “Instead of hitting your brother when he’s being mean to you, come ask an adult for help.” When My Worries Get too Big helps spectrum kids talk about overwhelming emotions in a concrete way. I highly recommend it. You can start introducing it as early as 3 1/2, depending on your child.
3. Teach him how to use lists. This may not work for all Aspies, but I know many get comfort from lists and seeing things on paper. Lists also help an overwhelmed child break down what needs to be done. For example, for a long time room clean up was a disaster (still is, some days!). When I finally started making a checklist, Dr. J did much better. He didn’t have the capability to decide what to do when. It was just one overwhelming blob for him. The list brought peace and concreteness to the task and also gave him control.
4. Offer choices when possible and appropriate. Many kids with Aspergers like to feel in control because so much of their life feels out of control. When you give your child a choice, you make him feel more in charge. For example, “Would you like to wear this sweatshirt or this sweater?” You’re still guiding your child towards appropriate clothing, but she feels in charge of her situation.
5. Help her find ways to cope. Life is not always sunshine and roses. We all experience bad days, and we need to cope with them. Our children need to learn coping skills as well. Perhaps you teach your child to go to a special spot and relax when she finds herself overwhelmed. Does a certain item help her calm down? Coach her to find it when she’s feeling out of control.
6. Allow him space to try on his own. This one can be difficult for the special needs mom. You don’t want to see your child hurt. You hope to avoid as many meltdown as possible. However, if we never let our children try to figure things out on their own, we end up hurting them. After all, aren’t we trying to help them become as independent as possible?
7. Foster an interest that makes her feel good about herself. Lately the boys and I have been learning about cooking. They both feel pretty proud of themselves when they work in the kitchen. What interests can also help your child feel accomplished?
8. Provide opportunities to build friendships. Many special needs kiddos need help making friends and strengthening those friendships. They may not end up being the social butterfly of their world, but it is good for them to have at least one or two friends they can relate to and enjoy spending time with. Schedule play dates or take your child to the park. You will probably need to do modeling. Show them what friends do and illustrate how friends talk to each other. You may even want to give them some ideas for things to talk about ahead of time. For example, “I wonder if Joe likes football, too. Today why don’t you ask him if he likes to watch football.”
9. Remark on his successes both big and small. Our kids need encouragement. They work so hard to achieve what comes naturally to other children. Do you notice your child is being kind to a sibling today? Comment on it and thank him! Did he try something new even though he didn’t want to? Praise him. This blesses him in the moment and grows his confidence for the future.
10. Remind him of God’s care. The best way to empower your child is to teach him about God and how to have a relationship with him. God is always there, even when you’re not. All of our children, special needs or not, are going to face hard things in life. Teaching them the Bible and about God’s character is the best thing we can give them to deal with life.

Have you experienced other ways to empower your child? I’d love to hear!